I Am Not That Kind of Mom and That is Okay
Today, there is an enormous amount of pressure to be the idealistic parent. The one who does it all while making it look effortless. We all know in our hearts, that this not only unattainable, but also illogical. How can one person do it all? I believe there is a freedom in declaring out loud what you are and what you are not and accepting both equally to the fullest. Stop wasting energy pretending to be the kind of parent that you know you are not to please others or worse the collective “society of other parents”. These mythical creatures that we all assume are watching our every parenting move. “What will they think?” we wonder to ourselves. Well, who really cares since they are not real? If we worry about friends or family judging us, why are we giving them the power to judge at all? Especially, for being you and not someone you are not. The only person you need to answer to ever, is yourself.
So here it goes in all its glory, I will release my fears and anxiety around not adhering to these parenting qualities. Anyone who does have these, should be proud and honour them, but as previously stated we can not have them all.
-I am not the mom with the always clean and tidy home
-I am not the mom who gets up to run at 5 am
-I am not the mom that has every financial detail in order
-I am not the mom that never orders take out
-I am not the mom that monitors every second of screen time
-I am not the mom that spends hours getting stains out of their child’s clothes
-I am not the mom that organizes every little thing
-I am not the mom that loves getting up early
-I am not the mom that signs their kid up for everything
-I am not the mom that can sit through countless cartoons or YouTube videos
All of that aside, I am a great mom, according to my kids and anyone who has seen me interact with them. The opinions who matter the most are the ones you are raising and when their faces lit up when you enter a room, you know you are doing something right. It is not about fitting into this perfect parental form, it is about showing your children that they matter, in whatever way that works for you and for them. It is about taking time to be with them, play with them, learn from them and teach them. So here is my list of the qualities I do possess that make me the perfect mom for my kids.
-I am the mom who makes every birthday cake from scratch because it I want to
-I am the mom that takes her kids on every roller coaster twice
-I am that mom the pitches baseballs in the backyard
-I am the mom that spontaneously books a waterpark resort for the weekend
-I am the mom that makes homemade pizza
-I am the mom that reads books in crazy voices
-I am the mom the plays board games for hours
-I am the mom the double checks their teeth after they have brushed them
-I am the mom that makes them clean all the bathrooms
-I am the mom the has a bin or two for every holiday occasion, including St. Patrick’s Day
-I am the mom who gazes at them when they sleep and wonder where the time has gone
-I am the mom who will kill the spiders and creepy bugs even when she doesn’t want to
-I am the mom who is super crafty
-I am the mom who stays up too late for one more second of alone time
-I am the mom who cherishes her other mom friends because they understand
I am one of many moms who will never stop making memories with my children, no matter how big or small because I know that is what really matters.
I know all parents out there can agree with the last statement. We all want what is best for them, but we need to give ourselves a break from trying to fit into the mold of society and just fit into our own mold. Be who we are and know that it is enough, always! Please share what kind of parent mom or dad that you are and maybe one kind that you are not. We are all more alike than we realize and understanding our similarities brings us together as a community.